On NPR this afternoon, as I was returning from lunch, I listened to Talk of the Nation where the guest was Simon Winchester, author of The Meaning of Everything: The Story of the Oxford English Dictionary. Besides being a very entertaining interview subject, Mr. Winchester had opened the floor to listeners to suggest new words that they thought should be in the dictionary.

Well, one guy called in with a word that both Neal Conan and Mr. Winchester agreed sounded very good and could be a real contender. So here I present to you, slightly paraphrased from my memory of the call (and apologies to the caller for forgetting his name):

convivant, noun, ("kän-vE-'vänt, "kOⁿ-vE-'väⁿ)
A committed, romantic partner with whom you share living space.

The caller was certain to leave gender out of the definition, and presented it in the context of needing a clear, convenient word to describe a person's parner(s) where "spouse" was not accurate.

Best part is, if it gets used in enough "real" (published and/or broadcast media or entertainment) arenas, it could actually make it into the OED.

(On the one-in-a-million chance that the caller happens across the entry [perhaps by Googling to see if anyone has used the word?] and wants to provide his name and/or clarification of the definition, I'll update this to reflect that.)

Went to a really great party this weekend, a house-warming for a quad of friends who just got a place in San Francisco. I was only at the party for about 1/4 to 1/3 of the total party time (it spanned from 4 on Friday to 4 this afternoon, but I had other things I had to get done this weekend). But the party was great, the food was great, and most of all, the people there were fantastic.

I so want to have a reliable circle of friends like this. It's not just that the people themselves are so very affectionate and caring towards each other, it's more of an overall sensory effect created by the combination of inputs: they care, ergo they are not afraid to show it; they show their affection (and outright love/attraction) openly, and thus a sense of closeness and bonding is apparent from all angles; the sense of bonding readily welcomes new people on the belief that if someone invited them or brought them as a guest, then known or unknown they are probably a good, likable person. As a result of that, even a shy introvert like myself left feeling very warm and appreciated, and I can say I made some great new acquaintances that (if fortune should favor) may blossom into new friendships.

At the same time, I felt some jealous pangs, because my shyness does keep me on the outside more than I want to be. I still feel like I'm trying to catch up, to make up for time lost when I was deeply denying my own true nature and feelings. So seeing these four people who have achieved the kind of household I dream of, I can't help being a little envyous of them for their happiness. On the plus side, it also shows me that it can and does happen. To ordinary people, just like me. And that beats sitting at home thinking that there is no hope for ever seeing people achieve such goals.

(On the other hand, I am insanely jealous of the house itself. It is almost exactly the kind of floorplan and layout I am hoping to find when I start looking to buy next month.)

My shrink tasked me with something that should be much easier than it has proven to be. In reaction to my ongoing frustration with relationships, I was asked to make up a list of the things I want in a relationship.

See, while I do suffer most of the complaints that your average Silicon Valley Single Make Geek does (social awkwardness, limited exposure to potential dating partners, etc.), the problem that plagues me the most is that I tend to sabotage my chances before I even get so far as to complain about my lack of chances. I'm a crappy housekeeper (stuff laying everywhere, bathroom a mess), I get phone numbers and then forget to ever call, I talk myself out of even making an effort.

Even this task has proven to be almost beyond me– I spent the first several attempts getting distracted by personal traits, not sure if I should be looking for what I want in a relationship or what I want in a partner. Of course, it was a moot point; I had just as much trouble with either list. And I'm not going to list what I did come up with here, anyway. But it made me wonder how many other people there are out there who are stuck in relationship cycles because they confuse what they want in the relationship with what they want in a partner.