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+ raelity bytes
+ paul e. [LJ]
+ Rain Graves
+ gnat [use Perl;]

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My other sites:
- Silicon Valley Scale Modelers
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Other journals I read:
= DJ Adams
= rebecca blood
= Tim Bray
= Margaret Cho
= Warren Ellis
= Neil Gaiman
= Rafael Garcia-Suarez
= John Gorenfeld
= Lawrence Lessig
= Michael McCracken
= Jeff Vogel
= Norm Walsh
= Wil Wheaton

My journal at use.perl.org:
· Restless
· RPC-XML-0.57.tar.gz uploaded to PAUSE
· RPC-XML-0.56.tar.gz uploaded to PAUSE
· RPC-XML-0.55.tar.gz uploaded to PAUSE
· Forgive Me, Bretheren Monks
· Extry Extry: Winer Leaves the RSS Advisory Board
· RPC::XML 0.54 Uploaded
· The Books of Perl
· Good Intentions Don't Equal Good Results
· Errata Tracking Page for PWSWP
· Image::Size 2.992 Uploaded
· Props to Portland PM
· Lightning Talks
· OSCON, Tuesday
· OSCON Plans Now Set

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We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. — Will Rogers

So Going to Hell 2006.09.23.06:17

The following coversation just took place in the house. Note that housemate ("HM") is a Christian working for a faith-based non-profit, and occassionally does catering on the side (she's an excellent cook and baker). This weekend, the two overlap as she's been contracted to make a lunch spread for a social event involving some of the non-profit's board members.

The array of foods she's making includes a few dozen sugar cookies (from scratch, of course), which she's cut out into various shapes: hearts, flowers, stars, and of course crosses. Because these people are protestants (as was I, when I considered myself a person of faith), and for us protestants kitsch is as important a part of the daily diet as vitamins and minerals. A fifth food group, you might say. So she finishes the cookies and decided to turn in for the night. Realizes that they'll dry out in the "crisp" Colorado fall air (it's hella dry here once the temperatures start coming down). Dilemma: how to keep them from drying out without coming back downstairs? Solution: ask the housemate ("ME") to wrap things up:

HM: Can you wrap up the cookies in about 15 minutes, so they don't dry out? Just put them in zip-loc bags, that will work.

ME: Ummm, sure. Should I throw them in the fridge or leave them on the counter?

HM: Counter-top is fine. Or, you can just put them back on the cookie sheets and cover them with plastic-wrap.

ME: No, I'll put them in bags.

HM: OK, but be careful. Don't break them.

ME: Can I break the arms off of an inverted cross, in rejection of-


ME: sighs

So touchy...

# [/funny]

I Am Such a Nerd 2006.02.01.02:44

I am nerdier than 96% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

# [/funny]

My Birthdate Meanings 2005.09.06.00:16

(A little light non-Katrina content for a break...)

Your Birthdate: March 3
Being born on the 3rd day of the month is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.
The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.
There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.
Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.
You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.
You are affectionate and loving, but sometimes too sensitive.
You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

As it happens, there are more than a couple of those statements I can't really argue with...

# [/funny]

Mutation of Standards? 2005.09.01.03:51

I'm a big proponent of standards, especially in regards to web development and related issues. Especially XHTML for web content. Put down that tired old busted HTML 4.01 and get with the new millenium.

Still, I'm more than a little concerned that the XHTML Fist t-shirt features a hand with six fingers. And the left hand, no less. You can't even try to explain it away as being Count Rugen's.

# [/funny]

Abuse of Amazon Imagery 2005.05.28.22:47


It appears that Amazon encodes significant data into their image URLs. It also appears that this person has way too much time on his hands.

# [/funny]

The Word of the Day is "Kancho" 2005.04.09.22:14

Via LiveJournal, I found my way to the editorials of an American teaching in Japan. Specifically, he teaches the equivalent of 7th through 9th grades. Apparently, according to this entry, Japanese school kids learn to be preverts at an early age:

You know what's kind of funny though? Some kids can't say "Good morning", but damn near all of them can ask if I have a big dick. Or, "bigu dikku" in Engrish.

On the days I'm avoiding them asking me that, I'm avoiding them actually trying to grab it. I shit you not, I have to play Dodgedick with Japanese Jr. High kids on a weekly basis. Boys and girls! Age, gender, doesn't matter, they all want a stab at it. The boys are actually more persistant though. I had one boy grab for it, and when I said "No!" he put his hands together and, in English, said "Please!" Oh hell no.

I wish I could say it stops there, but actually, it gets worse. Let me introduce you to a game Japanese kids like to play called "Kancho."

Actually, it's not so much a "game" as it is kids clasping their hands together, sticking out their first fingers, and shoving them up your butt. I'm really not joking.

You know, before we come to Japan, they tell us a lot of ultimately useless stuff. What kind of computer to bring, if our DVD's will work, clothing sizes, that kind of nonsense. Nowhere, and I mean nowhere, in the 3-4 months of orientations did anyone ever mention that at some point, a Japanese kid may try to stick their fingers up our butt. That's something I would have liked to know, personally.
# [/funny]

St. Paddy's Pet Peeve 2005.03.18.08:03

Any station that punctuates a piece on St. Patrick's Day celebrations with "Scotland the Brave".

# [/funny]

Tales of Geek Love 2005.02.09.02:48

I followed a banner-ad link on a SourceForge.net page, and found the ThinkGeek page of Valentine's gifts. The poem alone makes me long for a geek girlfriend:


I won't reprint the text that is on the panties here. I won't.

# [/funny]

Hallowe'en in the Office 2004.10.29.20:23

Dear Die-ary,

Today is the Hallowe'en celebration in my office. Many people are dressed up, and there is enough candy floating around to induce diabetic coma into a small but significant percentage of mainland China's populace. Even my manager, who is old-skool-enough to have been coding on Lisp machines before I was born, is dressed for the occassion. I chose not to, as I don't really have much skill or knack for costumes that don't involve large quantities of fake (no, really, I promise it's fake) blood. And I do have to work here after Hallowe'en, after all.

The problem is, there was a calculated, concerted effort among a large number of the female office demographic to dress as devil-girls. That's right, I'm surrounded by literally dozens of women in red, wearing horns, some with pitchforks, even.

My concentration is pretty much crap.


# [/funny]

Fishy Follow-Up 2004.09.03.22:43

Apparently this morning when she got in, all three fish were pining for the fjords. Witnesses say the water was very murky and the stench was impressive for such small fish.

(I, unfortunately, missed it all because a power-outage this morning killed my alarm clocks and made me later than usual.)

# [/funny]

The Fallacy of Fish as Pets 2004.09.02.23:23

The co-worker who's desk is to my immediate left recently got a Tetra in a glass jar as a "pet". I use the word extremely liberally here. Our boss (we answer to the same manager) got her two more, so that the one would not be lonely.

Understand, first off, that this isn't a very big container. It's a perfect cylinder of heavy glass, with no top. Like an extremely unimaginative drinking glass (if you were, say, André the Giant). Probably holds about a pint and a half or so (judging by my first-hand experience with pints). It's about 3/4 full with water, so we'll call the actual water-area one pint. In this, though, there is about an inch or so of bright blue gravel at the bottom, and a plastic plant of some sort that curves in on itself within the confines of the glass. And the fish. The three fish.

Fish are not pets. You can't take them for a walk, they don't come when you call (of course, neither do my cats, but in their case it's clear from the look in their eyes that I'm being purposefully ignored). You can't play with fish the way you would a reptile, unless the fish are piranha and your idea of a pet reptile is a Komodo Dragon. But this subtle distinction is lost on my co-worker.

She's like a child with its first kitten. She can't leave the poor fish alone. How they must gurgle a watery sigh of relief when she leaves for the day. She'll tap on the glass. She'll spin the jar around one way, then the other (something I compared to her riding out a 5.0 earthquake in her apartment). And once in a while, she'll just pull the jar closer to her and, well, almost hug it, for lack of a better descriptive. I don't think she's really hugging it in the sense you'd hug a puppy, but she's clearly taking some degree of comfort from the presence of the little fishies.

God help all of us within earshot if she comes in one morning to find any one of them floating. I'm just not sure how you explain the cycle of life to a 30-year-old married woman.

# [/funny]

A Different Kind of Strap-On 2004.08.05.18:44

[image] In Arizona, horses are still very common-place. Because of this, you might think that this is a sign directing you to a place where you can get your horse a nice meal. You might think that, but you would be wrong. This is a place where you go to eat like a horse. This is a chain in the Phoenix/Mesa metro area. I've seen at least three locations so far this week.

As to whether you actually strap a bag onto your face, I cannot say. I haven't had the courage to actually venture into any of them.

# [/funny]

That 20-Questions-to-a-Better-Personality Thing 2004.07.02.00:08

All the cool kids are taking that 20-questions personality quiz thing, the one on the web site of usual name. Since I'm a sheep, I did too. I'd say the results are about 60%-70% accurate, but I'm not inclined to say which 60%-70%.

You are a WECF–Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a candle burning at both ends. You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.

In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.

Your driving force is the emotional support of others–especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it–as it occasionally must run dry–you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.

You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.

There. Wonder no more about the mysteries of my psyche.

# [/funny]

Bad Cat Habits #1 2004.05.26.18:18

It's not that I mind my cat cleaning himself in the middle of the bathroom floor while I get ready in the morning, cats do that after all.

I just wish he wouldn't make those slurping noises when he reaches his ass.

At least he doesn't sing.

# [/funny]

Happy Pi Day 2004.03.14.09:59

Today is National Π Day

This post made on 3/14, 1:59

# [/funny]

Who Am I:
Randy J. Ray
Software Engineer


Buy my book!

Programming Web Services with Perl

I've also contributed three chapters to:

Computer Science & Perl Programming

Category quick-links:


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30 31          

Apr May Jun
Jul Aug Sep
Oct Nov Dec

Reading and Re-reading
· The Annotated Thursday: G.K. Chesterton's The Man Who Would Be Thursday, G.K. Chesterton, Martin Gardner
· The Feeling Good Handbook, David D. Burns
· Organizing From the Inside Out, Julie Morgenstern
· XML Schema, Eric Van Der Vlist
· BEEP: The Definitive Guide, Marshall T. Rose

High in the queue
· Silk, Caitlin R. Kiernan
· Coldheart Canyon, Clive Barker
· Idoru, William Gibson
· Shared Source CLI Essentials, David Stutz, Ted Neward, Geoff Shilling

Recently finished
· Planetary Vol. 3: Leaving the 20th Century, Warren Ellis, et al

Recommended favorites
· The Cowboy Wally Show, Kyle Baker
· Lost Souls, Poppy Z. Brite
· The Alienist, Caleb Carr
· Quarantine, Greg Egan
· The Authority: Relentless, Warren Ellis et al.
· Planetary: All Over the World and Other..., Warren Ellis et al.
· American Gods, Neil Gaiman
· Good Omens, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
· Neuromancer, William Gibson
· A Philosophical Investigation, Philip Kerr
· Say You Want a Revolution (The Invisibles, Book 1), Grant Morrison et al
· You Are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of..., Oswald T. Pratt and Scott Dickers
· Cryptonomicon, Neil Stephenson
· Rising Stars : Born In Fire (Vol. 1), J. Michael Straczynski

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