Went to a really great party this weekend, a house-warming for a quad of friends who just got a place in San Francisco. I was only at the party for about 1/4 to 1/3 of the total party time (it spanned from 4 on Friday to 4 this afternoon, but I had other things I had to get done this weekend). But the party was great, the food was great, and most of all, the people there were fantastic.

I so want to have a reliable circle of friends like this. It's not just that the people themselves are so very affectionate and caring towards each other, it's more of an overall sensory effect created by the combination of inputs: they care, ergo they are not afraid to show it; they show their affection (and outright love/attraction) openly, and thus a sense of closeness and bonding is apparent from all angles; the sense of bonding readily welcomes new people on the belief that if someone invited them or brought them as a guest, then known or unknown they are probably a good, likable person. As a result of that, even a shy introvert like myself left feeling very warm and appreciated, and I can say I made some great new acquaintances that (if fortune should favor) may blossom into new friendships.

At the same time, I felt some jealous pangs, because my shyness does keep me on the outside more than I want to be. I still feel like I'm trying to catch up, to make up for time lost when I was deeply denying my own true nature and feelings. So seeing these four people who have achieved the kind of household I dream of, I can't help being a little envyous of them for their happiness. On the plus side, it also shows me that it can and does happen. To ordinary people, just like me. And that beats sitting at home thinking that there is no hope for ever seeing people achieve such goals.

(On the other hand, I am insanely jealous of the house itself. It is almost exactly the kind of floorplan and layout I am hoping to find when I start looking to buy next month.)