A thread on one of my Perl-related mailing lists (of all things) gave me this ge(r)m, which I now share with thee, my good readers. May it haunt you as well. Credit (and blame) goes to Chris Devers on the london.pm mailing list:

(To the tune of "Buddy Holly" by Weezer, in case you couldn't already tell.)

    What's with these Ringwraiths, dissing my Shire?
    Why do they gotta front?
    What did we ever do to these guys
    That made them so violent?
    My-pre-cious, but you know I'm yours
    My-pre-cious, and I know you're mine
    My-pre-cious, and that's for all time

    Oo-ee-oo I look just like Bilbo Hobbit
    Oh-oh, and you're Galadriel
    I don't care what they say about this stupid ring
    I don't care bout that

    Don't you ever fear, I'm always near
    I know that you need help
    Your tongue is twisted, your eyes are slit
    You need Gandalf the Grey
    My-pre-cious, but you know I'm yours
    My-pre-cious, and I know you're mine
    My-pre-cious, and that's for all time

    Oo-ee-oo I look just like Bilbo Hobbit
    Oh-oh, and you're Galadriel
    I don't care what they say about this stupid ring
    I don't care bout that
    I don't care bout that

    Bang, bang a knock on the door
    Another big bang and you're down on the floor
    Oh no! How do we feel?
    Don't look now but I missed my meal
    I can't run and I can't kick
    What's a matter Bor' are you feeling sick?
    what's a matter, what's a matter, what's a matter you?
    What's a matter Bor', are you feeling blue? oh-oh!
    And that's for all time
    And that's for all time

    Oo-ee-oo I look just like Bilbo Hobbit
    Oh-oh, and you're Galadriel
    I don't care what they say about this stupid ring
    I don't care bout that
    I don't care bout that
    I don't care bout that
    I don't care bout that